Everybody Louvres Photo Essays...

After we were re-drunkified and super Les Miserables at the wine tasting, Bookie, Keith and I dragged our sorry carcasses over to the Lorve yesterday.  (Fun Fact: It used to be called the Lourve until Britain came in and stole all the U’s from France.  Damned Touries.)

Outside of the museum is the Seine....

Lovely, isn't it?  

Those locks on the fence were actually put up by people over the years trying to lock their U’s in place.   Clearly this didn’t work, which is why the Wourld is in its current state.  It’s true, Gougle it!

None of this takes away from the fact that the museum is gigantic and breathtaking, and pictures simply do not do it justice.

But here are some anyway:

Once inside, we were enchanted first by the energy of the other excited patrons…

…then by the art itself, which seems mainly stabby…

…or assy…

 …or (my favorite)…

...both!

We were quite disappointed, however, with the Mona Lisa.  First of all, I always assumed she was in color…

…and Keith was convinced her eyes were following him like a painting in Scooby Doo.

 

"Like, Zoinks, Scoob!"

To be fair, some of the art can be unpredictable...

...but eventually, we got a grip on the place and learned lots! 

 Example:  The original Venus De Milo's arms fell off after too many push-ups!

 Obviously, there’s a lot of art there....

I don't really "get" modern art.

...and if you’re like us, you’ll eventually embrace it and let it become a part of you…

…or maybe you’ll become a part of it…

 We deserve this.

By the end of the day, from the combination of being Freedj’d the night before and wandering around the museum for approximately forty euroHours (translates to 3 American Hours and 17 seconds) (years and distance) Keith had become delirious.   As he was checking the map to find out how to get back to the hotel, he looked up and shouted, “Ooh!  A Puppy!!”

And then he realized it was not a puppy...

…it was a bag.

 "I thought it was a french poodle!"

Of course, this is not the first time Keith—or I, for that matter—have mistaken a plastic bag for an animal.  But that's a story for another time.  (Like now, if you click here...)

  

Wine and Cheese...Yes Please

After a night of excessive drinking and craziness (and believe me, that is putting it extremely lightly...it's a night I care not to remember for a long time), there’s no better way to get rid of a horrible hangover then to start drinking all over again. And that’s exactly what we did.

After dragging ourselves out of bed, we made our way to the other side of Paris for a wine and cheese lunch at this wine bar and restaurant called O’Chateau.

 

Bonjour wine & cheese.

After getting there 30 minutes early and them asking us to come back, it was finally time to head into the back room for the tasting.

In the room was a rectangular table with empty, soon to be filled, glasses surrounded by bottles of wine and champagne.

Everyone around the table was asked to introduce themselves and the type of wine we like to drink. The three of us were the only Americans there. The others were from Austria, Thailand and Russia (a very cute couple on their honeymoon).

The first was poured. As soon as the three of us took one sip, the shampoo effect started. We all looked at each other and mouthed we were already buzzed.

Our sommelier taught us all about champagne first. Then when it came to the wine, we learned about the look, smell and taste (the best part) techniques.

As we were sitting there buzzed they came in and brought the 5 different cheeses and sliced meats and bread. All we wanted to do was to start eating.

YUM!

DOUBLE YUM!!

TRIPLE YUM!!

The sommelier said we could eat at any time but of course no one had the balls to be the first, until the girl from Russia finally gave in.

The experience was pretty awesome. There is so much to know about champagne and French wines. Turns out there is no such thing as pairing the correct wine with cheese. It’s all a matter of opinion. He had us take a piece of cheese and pair it with two different wines. And then he went around the room asking who liked what pairing better. At the most, two people shared the same opinion. I preferred the second wine which was a 2010 sauvignon blanc with the comte cheese. YUM!

We also learned how to spot a douche bag sommelier who thinks they know everything (I doubt they have any of those in Los Angeles).

The tasting lunch was a lot of fun. Five incredible French cheeses and wines and one champagne. If you’re ever in Paris, I highly suggest doing this. But it may be better if you’re not totally hung over from the night before. 

And again, the night before was crazy beyond belief.

Une Encore Buvez

I'm not sure how or why this blog (and my posts specifically) have suddenly become about us drinking our way across Europe, but for better or for worse (mainly for worse) that's what seems to be going on here.  And it simply has to stop before I end up even stupider.

Last night on our way to dinner, we saw a huge crowd gathered outside of this bar:

Ahhh, the French.  How subtle.

After dinner (and despite Keith's protests) we wandered back down to COX for our now-infamous "Just One Drink."  This time, we found the place to be completely empty, but ordered our One Drink anyway.  While were enjoying our One Drink, KEITH (yes, Keith) suggested we find some other place to have One More Drink, since there was literally no one else at the bar.  After our One Drink, I asked the bartender where else might be fun to go and he pointed us to Freedj...

...which I believe is French for "Jizzaster."   The place was pink and full of craziness, just like their signature beverage:

 Piiiiink iiiiiiit!!!

These drinks were unbelievably tasty, and although I never found out their name (opting instead to just point at them like an American idiot...even though everyone there spoke perfect English) I did manage to ask what was in them:  Pineapple (pronounced pin-apple), Vodka and third ingredient that I couldn't quite make out, though I assume it was something evil...   

...and delicious.  The bar itself was super-crazy in the best way possible.  

Projected along the wall is a little light show which is occasionally interrupted by videos of the staff.  Here's Keith complying as I drunkenly try to produce the clip for you:

Yes.  Each staff member poses and then is tossed a remote control.  Why?  I'm not sure.  But it entertained the crap out of me.   

What else does that remote do?

All of the random insanity seemed to be emanating from the bathroom upstairs, which features this sign for those who don't know how to behave in public...

...along with the the song "Under the Sea" from the Little Mermaid blaring in French.  Over and over again.

Actually, there is a chance it was in English, but I was too full of Pink Panther Juice to comprehend it.  

There's also a little outdoor area for smokers which features this helpful sign:

 I was looking for that.   Mercí!

After somewhere between 3 and 780 beverages, we started talking to this girl Ellen...

...and her adorable friends...

...who were both quite French...

...and were helpful in giving me a starter course in French culture by teaching me the meaning of the phrase "Gay Paris."  

In other news, I have no idea what I'm talking about any more.  I might I still have some PinkDrinkThinkStopper™ in me.

Viva La Freedj!!!!

Oui Oui Paris!

We finally arrived in Paris, surprisingly I did not pitch Adam and Jeff into the Chunnel...


And then we found our way through the super crazy streets to the Metro station and headed off to the Arc du Triomphe where our hotel was...


Adam only dropped his bag 2 times while we were walking and both of them were a little ahh about the crazy drivers in Paris. I think they might actually be worse than the drivers in Italy.

Eventually we made it the hotel, the boys were excited to get rid of their ginormous suitcases...


And we had a lovely view from the window too...


Oh and there was also this on the tv...


Enough said. After getting settled and internet-ing we headed out to find some food and see the Arc du Triomphe...


And then the sun started setting...


Just beautiful! And still filled with crazy Parisian drivers. After seeing the sights we found a lovely little cafe to grab some food! I started with some escargot and cheese for us...


So delicious! God I love French food! Adam and I both got this amazing beef and potato dish...


And Jeff got salmon, which was also amazing...


The pictures are a wee dark because we were trying not to be stupid tourists because the restaurant was packed...


Fail! Clearly by the second bottle of wine, we didn't care so much about being stupid tourists...


Also one of the waitresses might have been a little bananas and Jeff was infatuated with her. And also also there was this...


Which totally creeped me out and was pretty much how I was feeling when Jeff said let's go have one drink! Oh god here we go again!

Evil French Jeff has now joined the party, we will call him Le Jeff for short. Le Jeff is Le trouble, I mean he even twists his tiny little mustache...


Ugh, off now for "one drink"' merde!

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Location:Paris, France